Hi all — I appreciate all the supportive comments to my last post about letting go on the playground (and in the home “classroom”) and about staring at this blog and asking myself why? I guess I am taking a blogging break. I really feel adrift right now — I’ve lost my focus here. (Did I ever really have one? 
)
I’ve been flaky lately. I feel like — on a day to day basis — I have no goals. I’ve sailed away from the “eclectic” port, but I’m not fully on board with unschooling. I wake up in the mornings with a vague feeling of panic. The OLD version of me is still alive and well in my head, and she thinks it’s disgraceful that my 10-year-old can’t write or punctuate yet. I’m a writing teacher, for God’s sake! I’ve read the literature on “right-brained” learners, and intellectually, I COMPLETELY agree with Cindy that age 8-10 is a good time for a RB kiddo like “Martin” to START learning to read and write. But the voices are still there. We’re still struggling with his passionate attachment to video games and other issues. And I totally FORGOT “Marie’s” horseback riding lesson yesterday. You’d think after shelling out $300 for lessons, that kinda might stick in my head. FLAKY!
I guess I’ll be back sometime. 
Thanks for the comments — I always read them, even if I’m not on the blog (they come to my e-mail account) and even if I don’t reply. Human contact, including the virtual kind, is always good. And I’m still reading your blogs!
Love, “Miranda”
Filed under: Unschooling
Of course we’ll love to read whatever you decide to share – even if you think your continuing struggles between that OLD version of you and the one that’s in process (which, being the opposite, would be YOUNG, of course!) portray you as “flaky” and aren’t interesting to read about, they *are* inspiring to the rest of us who struggle with these issues too.
And. Every time you sign your “name,” dear Miranda, I hear it in a ghostly whisper with the Fruity Oaty Bar commercial in the background! Makes me laugh every time.
If it is any comfort…. transitioning from a structured homeschool to a relaxed/unschooling method gave me more than one sleepless night.
I think you’re supposed to wig out a bit…. question yourself, wrestle with doubts. It’s all part of the ride.
Whatever you choose to share here… count me as a devoted reader!!
I’m in the same boat as you are so I do empathize. Life can be SO overwhelming at times.
I’m trying to do some more writing in a private journal to think things through. Maybe that would work for you? I’ll let you know if it works for me.
Just wanted to say that I hope everything smooths out for you. Frequently unfocused times are great for finding a new idea or focus that you would never have stumbled upon methodically following your old focus. So, maybe this time will be great germination!
That is exactly how I felt when we did our experiment with unschooling. The panice was based in reality for me…my kids just were not learning without guidance. I faced the honest truth that while it may work for some families who have these self motivated learners, it didn’t work for my dreamer/gamers. My kids do much better with a guided framework, as do I. Maybe something ot ponder on your time away! You’ll be missed!
Don’t we all have those moments?
I have not been blogging as much personal stuff because I have been foggy-brained and adrift in some ways since November.
My Boychick is in school, and there are still many ways I find to beat myself up for not being a good enough mother/manager of his education. I was just talking to another mother of a child on the spectrum that is doing the same thing.
I have started many a blog entry about this, but cannot get the words around it, and so those entries litter my not-published file. I think I’ve got down what to say and then it all falls apart.
Really, it is hard in these days of a narrowing norm to be the parent of a child who does not fit it, does not want to fit it, and will probably never fit it.
We are judged severely by others, but we who were brought up on the Brady Bunch and other such fantasies, are even more severely hard on ourselves.
I hope you write when you get the chance.
And one more thing–disintegration is usually the first harbinger of change.
Hey Miranda,
I read through your blog after seeing you linked to mine, and I think you have such WONDERFUL things to say. This journey is a process, even for us adults who are supposed to be the guides/mentors. I always say I need a place to vent and to worry and to talk, so that is what my hubby has been for me, or my grown daughter now, or a good friend, or even my blog. It helps me process information without putting it on my children, ya know?
I notice you are in VA. Are you coming to the VAHomeschooler’s conference in May? I would love to chat with you, and I wonder if you would really like one of my workshops about my unschooling process, which is different than most. I call it my Collaborative Learning Process, and maybe that is just the balance you are looking for.
Anyway, keep processing and thinking . . . great things happen as we shift and change. I count these as one of my best blessings in choosing homeschooling; my own personal journey of learning and growth!