Friday

I have been asking myself more and more WHY I’m keeping up this blog. There is not much here, anymore, that anyone would like to read. It seems to have become just a repository for random learning notes — and I’m even questioning why I’m doing that. Do I really need portfolio fodder broken into bite-sized pieces, carefully labeled by academic subject? Why?

I spent the morning cleaning up. It was a glorious day, so I took Martin and Missy out to lunch then, after we picked up Marie, we went to the park. Missy, with her motor and sensory delays, is fearful of slides and climbing. Marie went through the same thing at this age. Back then, we had a phalanx of teachers and professionals telling us she should be able to do this at her age — she should be willing to take this on! — and that we needed to work on this. I can remember BRIBING Marie to go down the “big” slide and learn to ride a 2-wheeler. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but now it just makes me cringe.

Not having any teachers and experts to call me on my “negligence,” I’ve just let Missy be. Usually, when we go to the park, she just wants to swing, and that’s fine with me. Today, she finally got tired of swinging, and she wanted me to follow her to the play structure. She walked up the steps slowly and tentatively. Then she went down the smallest slide. When I held up my hands to help her, she gently pushed them away. Then she came down the little slide, grinning and triumphant.

She pondered a couple of the climbing structures, then decided they were too hard and scary. The voices in my head were urging me to prod her to do this — to take this on. I shushed them. Missy decided to go down the slide again.  Then she wanted to try the medium-sized slide, so she glided down, grinning. Finally she decided to try the BIG slide. Wow!

She sat at the top of the slide. She was scared, so I offered to catch her at the bottom. She waited. I waited. Then she slid down, looking astonished. Soon she wanted to try it again.

Before long, she went back to the difficult, scary climbing structure. I said “I’m just going to stand behind you in case you ask me for help.” I waited. She asked for help — she doesn’t really have the upper body strength to pull herself up without my giving her a boost, but she managed it with just a bit of help. Then she conquered another climbing structure. Soon, we left. I was caught in the joy of the moment. I had watched her take it on, and she fully owned the accomplishment. I helped her when she asked, but it was wholly her decision, laced with fear, doubt, astonishment, and elation.

I had ordered two copies of the first of The Life of Fred books at Janell’s recommendation. They arrived today while we were at the park. I gave one to each of the older kids. I told them I am over forcing them to do math, but I wanted them to put these books on their shelves in case they decide to master these skills. I pointed out that if Marie decides to go to college, she’ll need to get through her SATs, and the Life of Fred series could prepare her to do that. I don’t plan to say anything else about it. Such restraint! Maybe they’ll decide to take it on. Or not.

The kids are having a playdate with GamerGirl and YoshiGirl. I bought them a bunch of silly string. (In the Wikipedia article on silly string, there is a section titled Military Uses. Who knew??) They ran around the yard blasting each other with silly string, then they came in for snacks and video game chatter. We’ve got three intense gamers in the room: Matt, Martin and GamerGirl. Whew!